Cliche

I still am experiencing grief. My heart is heavy, but I think pain is a good thing. Pain forces us to seek help; for me, pain forces me to seek God. I love Jesus and I love the Bible. I love reformed theology - wish I understood more of it better; but what I do know of it is a warm blanket to my soul. I don't know that in this situation, I've ever shook my fist at God. I know that He is in control of all things; and I believe Romans 8:28 with all my heart: "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose." I know that He is working all things together for good and I truly believe that all means everything from the tiniest molecule of something to the biggest part of it; God is in it and working in it.
I identify with Job who after he lost everything, in a matter of seconds, his whole family (minus his wife); all his livestock; land; everything said "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord."
But when the deep stuff happens; when the surgeon makes the cut; the cliche sayings as great as they sound in writing and as beautiful as they look on a painting or coffee mug really do not do what they do when you are not going through the pain. They are great and some of them are even true...but they do not do justice to the pain. I have to confess that theology while for me usually better than the cliche sayings still leaves me hanging knowing that the pain is there.
I know we tell others this because we are trying to comfort them; and I know I've done the same before; but now experiencing the pain myself; as great as the saying is and how true it may be, it does not comfort. Only One can truly comfort; Only one can heal...but we do need each other; we do need those in our paths who walk through situations with us, who just let us say what is on our heart and are there to offer solid scripture and Godly wisdom. I know it hurts to see other people go through pain, but I think God teaches us through our pain. The song in my heart right now is Jennifer Knapps Hold me Now:

I'm weak. I'm poor.
I'm broken, Lord but I'm yours.
Hold me now.

I know that God is the only one who can truly comfort right now. And I know that some days are going to be more difficult than others. I have to confess that I don't always see Him in this situation, but at the end of the day, I know He is there. I know that He cares.