So, do you ever look up and notice its been two months since you last updated your blog? Well, that is what just happened to me. My intention is to update at least once a month....and I just signed on to see when the last update was...and notice it has now been two months. Crazy...hate it when that happens.
So, now that I am finally updating...what do I say??? I feel like a lot has happened, but nothing, really. It's crazy how quickly I feel like mom has declined. I mean, a year ago, she was feeding herself and walking all over the place. Now she has to be fed and walking seems impossible for her. Watching her decline has been so heart-breaking. I struggle when I see her...with the fact that I don't want to see her in the current state that she is in, however at the same time, I don't want her to be alone or feel alone.
She had a bad reaction to one of her medications. She was shaking/trembling uncontrollably. We got her off of the medication...but still it breaks my heart knowing that she had that reaction and it took several days for the reaction to cease...
Visiting her can be hard at times mostly because she can't communicate verbally...so we have to be creative. I know just sitting with her...knowing that we are there is huge for her. I hate that she can't say my name anymore, but love that her face lights up and she smiles when she sees me. Though I have to admit that there are many times that I feel like she doesn't really know exactly who I am. I think she still knows exactly who sister is....but I'm not convinced she always knows exactly who I am. Familiar to her? Yes. But knows that I'm her daughter??? Not quite sure.
