Frequent Questions/Comments

The past several months have brought questions and comments that are hard to honestly respond to. I write this, not to complain about it…but to just say here is how it is and the dilemma in the questions and comments. The questions are great; the comments are just a different way to show support. I don’t want people to stop asking the questions or necessarily stop making the comments – they are always said out of concern..and I truly believe that people want to know – otherwise they wouldn’t ask. And honestly, I appreciate them. I just write this so others know what is really going through my head when these things come up. “How is your mom doing?” is the hardest and probably most devastating question to answer…yet at the same time, I like when people ask it because I know they are concerned about her. But it really is the hardest question EVER to answer. She’s not the same person that I’ve ever known her as. Most of the time she is “good” I guess for her disease…but the disease is also taking over fast. Really fast. So how do you answer that? I mean in her mind, she is good…she usually doesn’t know that anything is really wrong. But then she is falling more and more…and breaking bones and needing stitches…I can tell that she sometimes has a hard time with her motor skills…like laying down in bed…takes her a minute sometimes…to lift or swing her legs into the bed…then to lay down…its weird…and I’m probably doing an awful job describing it. Or, when my sister was walking her back to the car after a doctor appointment to get stitches…she was going down from the curb to the car…and she got one foot down…but had trouble getting the other foot down. Or what about when I was eating with her the other day…and we had grilled tilapia, orzo pasta and veggies…and she just stared at her plate for a long time…looking kind of confused as to what she should do with it. And it wasn’t until I cut her meat for her that she knew that she could eat it. So, how do I answer that question? “How is your mom doing?” I mean, really she’s not doing well…she has a disease that is basically killing her brain…but most of the time, she seems to be in good spirits and she doesn’t realize that anything is wrong. A comment that is really hard to know how to respond to…”I just keep looking at you and your sister and you two are so young…I’m impressed with how you are acting with this and dealing with it and taking care of your mom. My kids are your age and they would not be able to handle this the way you are.” I mean, seriously, what do I say to that??? I mean, I think I’m doing the best that I can, but I don’t know that I am handling the situation well and with maturity. My response is usually, if you would’ve told me 3 years ago that this is how my life would be looking right now, I would not have believed you and would have told you that I could never deal with that now. The truth of the matter is that things happen and you have to step up, put one foot in front of the other, and deal with things and take care of the people you love. Your kids would do this if they were in the situation.